Mmm chocolate
by Watercolor Ink
Summary: Takes place during timeskip. Sasuke sends Sakura letters, for fun. slight SasuSaku, sorry, its pure crack.
1. The First Letter

written at one in the morning. Sasuke writes a Valentine's latter to Sakura, only to screw with her. crack. Takes place during timeskip, when Sasuke is traning with Orochimaru. Sand and Tea chapters will resume soon. D

disclaimer: blahblahblahidontownnarutoandblahblahblah

* * *

The hallways were cold. But then, again, they were always cold, the kind that made you want to stick your feet in steaming hot water right after touching the cold tiles. Of course Sasuke wouldn't do this now; he had done it a few times in his room, alone.

Right now he was searching the halls of Orochimaru's current lair, as always deep underground, for the kitchen. For the chocolate. He had quickly learned that Kabuto has an affinity for sweets, and though he himself didn't, today he needed it. The chocolate, that is.

Sasuke harrumphed as he opened the door to yet another empty room. These lairs were all so damn big. Finally, a room revealed a large, clean kitchen, and Sasuke stepped inside hurriedly.

The kitchens were always so _warm. _In a nice way, too. Surprisingly, one of the sound five loved to cook…Tayuya maybe. Either way, it meant the kitchens were always filled with the lingering warmth of a stove used not long ago.

Pulling open a cupboard, Sasuke grabbed a bag of chocolate Hershey's and threw it on the table. He found a pen and paper and began writing. At the top of the clean sheet he wrote:

_Dear Sakura:_

Today was Valentines Day. Orochimaru didn't celebrate it, though Kabuto did. He had actually gotten chocolates from him last year, and was flattered in a creepy kind of way.

Sasuke was about to bite into a piece of the chocolate when he noticed a rather purplish tint to it. And footsteps in the hallway.

"Orochimaru!" He called.

"What is it my Sasuke-kun?" came the snake man's sickly sweet voice.

"Where does Kabuto keep the not poisoned sweets?"

"Oh, I didn't know you liked sweets!"

"Orochimaru…"

"In the last cupboard on the left, Sasuke-kun."

"Thanks."

Exchanging the purple chocolate for some un tampered with by Kabuto, he continued writing his letter.

_How are you this year? Wait; don't tell me, because I really don't want to know. Have you improved at all? I hope so; you really sucked last time we met. Orochimaru's trainings been great, plus he lets me have sake, not that I drink that much. Just a little on Saturday nights, you know, when me and him and Kabuto and the sound nin all hang out and play poker. Last week we played strip poker. _

_How's Naruto? Still gangly? Sorry, inside joke. I bet that dope has improved more than you, Sakura. The last battle we had...man, I almost lost. Bet you would've loved that._

He paused to run his hand through his sleek black hair. He tried to think of things o tell her, about his daily life with Orochimaru; not to comfort her or let her know he was alright, but rather to mess with her head. It was a new art he had learned since being here, and was becoming quite good at it.

_So, I guess you know its Valentines Day. Duh. I sent you chocolates, but don't stuff yourself, you'll get fat and Ino will call you ugly, like she doesn't already. Seriously girl, your choice of friends shows a lack of judgment. Myself, I've made some good friends since being here. Orochimaru's pretty cool for a homo snake dude, he's teaching me well. In fact, yesterday he taught me the appropriate way to butter toast. Very educational. _

Re-reading his words, he decided it would suffice. He sounded out of character for once thing, though it was true Orochi had given him a toast and butter lesson the day before. And the day before that Sex-Ed courtesy of Kabuto. He wouldn't put that in there.

_Yah, so, I know I should feel bad for leaving you all behind in my quest for power, but it'll all turn out okay. I mean, for one thing my brother will die. That's a plus for everyone, right? Maybe not, but for me, totally. I better end this quick before I eat all the chocolate…_

He bit into another one. Even though the teen didn't particularly like the taste, something about it was addicting. (The suuuggaaaaar)

_So, happy V-Day Sakura. Tell Naruto hi for me._

_Sasuke_

Yes, that would be fine. Hopefully Sakura would get it soon, and her mind would snap. What fun.

Walking to the exit of the lair, Sasuke summoned a small black snake and sent it on its way, letter and chocolate in tow.

* * *

Sakura stared at the _thing _on her bed. Well, it wasn't a thing, it was a snake. With a letter. And chocolate. It slithered up towards her, dropping the rolled up letter and moving to the side, waiting for a reply to be written.

Sakura reached towards the letter with a shaking hand, reading it slowly and carefully. Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Could this really be Sasuke? Was he…contacting her? And he had sent her sweets!

She didn't know how to feel. Angry and confused? Blissfully happy? She wondered how Naruto would react, even though she wouldn't be able to tell him until after he got back from his training.

Picking up a piece of chocolate, she gazed at it for several moments before slipping it into her mouth. Immediately she spit it back out, her tongue burning with the taste.

"That bastard!" She cried, "He knows I hate dark chocolate! I bet he ate all the milk ones, too!" And with that she stomped out of the room, leaving the letter for later, when she would roll it up and put it in a box and hope another one would come soon.


	2. Fishy

Sakura felt the familiar pull of chakra as she surged it back into the heart of the large fish on her desk. By now this sort of thing was easy for her, but it was always good to stay in practice.

Just as the fish was about to flip back into the water, and large black snake appeared form nowhere and swallowed it whole, then proceeding to drop a small scroll at Sakura's feet.

She quickly scooped it up, rolling it out angrily. Who dared to send a snake to eat her fish? The scroll read.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I have heard you have become a fine medical ninja. This pleases me to no end; perhaps this means you can safely remove the two extras toes Kabuto attached to me for eating his chocolate._

Sakura's eye twitched. This could only be one person… and she had received her last letter from him only one week prior, on Valentine's Day. She continued.

_Of course you and I both know I didn't eat any chocolate at all! I gave it all to you, right aijin? _(WI: if you don't know what that means, I highly suggest looking it up for full enjoyment)

Sakura's jaw dropped. Her entire face turned a bright red and felt the need to throw the scroll into the water, where its words would be blurred and no one could read it.

_Orochimaru doesn't believe me either! –Pout- He thinks I am silly for sending love letters when I could be training! I told him he should train me then, but instead I got a physics lesson about metal conducting electricity. BORING! I made sure to say 'hn' as many times as I could._

Sakura shook her head, confused, embarrassed. Her face was still a bright pink. Something about this wasn't right…why was Sasuke writing so immature? She rubbed a temple. Was he just messing with her? If so, it was working…

_Oh, I must go. Orochi says I haven't been caring for Mr. Swigglefluff enough lately. Maybe its true. Aw well, I'll take him for a nice romp in Kimimaro's lovely little rose garden._

_Yours truly_

_Sasuke_

"AAAUGH!!" Sakura screamed. If Sasuke had been here, she probably would've punched him in the face…well, no, she probably would've hugged him, then punched him in the face! She wanted to pull her hair out in confusion! And what the hell was Mr. Swigglefluff?

She stomped out of the room, and then hurried back in, rolling up the scroll before anyone saw it, and stuffing it in her kunai pouch. Later, she would put it with the other letter, hoping the next one would come soon.


	3. Rainy

This chapter is super short, but it's leading up to a super duper fun chapter. HOORAH!

* * *

In the soft sheets of a bed in a dark room, Sasuke lay thinking. In the hallways outside torches would cast an eerie light and warm the rooms just the slightest bit. After his last letter to Sakura, he couldn't help but feel he had missed out on something… and then he realized. He had missed out seeing the expression on her face!

Writing these letters had become more fun than he thought. Everything strange he did, he found himself storing it on a list of weird things to tell Sakura about. Taking out the little purple and black notepad, he opened it to the latest page, number 24.

Rolling out of bed, he flicked on a light and prepared to write. He was distracted by a shuffle in the corner.

"Oh, sorry, 'Swiggles." He murmured, covering the cage with a blanket.

Then, to writing!

_Dear Sakura, _

_I am writing this letter very late at night, and it disturbed Mr. Swigglefluff's precious sleep, so you owe him one. _

He nodded. That had definitely needed to be said.

_We got some rain the other day, and it made the whole lair sparkle! This may be partially because we're underground…we were flooded up to our waists. NOT FUN I TELL YOU! Once we finally got outside, Orochi decided it would be fun to dance in the rain. Have you ever heard that song, Dancing in the Rain? Well, Orochimaru has. He made me and Kabuto dance with him in the rain. I liked the dancing part; he liked the jumping in puddles and getting all of us muddy part. Anyway, I have a cold now. Joy._

Sasuke paused and put a little check mark next to one of the things on his list. Rain/Dancing with Orochi. He examined the rest of the things on the page. He thought about it carefully, and then chose one.

_By now you are probably wondering exactly who Mr. Swigglefluff is. I will tell you this – he has the cutest pink button nose and the softest fur I ever snuggled with. I think Orochimaru got him for me because he was going to make me kill him to add to my "emotional training." Fortunately, snake man likes the fluff just as much as I do; I caught him calling him 'the cwutest wittle fwuff ever.' I do not exaggerate. _

He smirked as he remembered the occasion.

_Good times, huh Sakura? Good times. _

_Your Truly,_

_Sasuke_

_P.S. Meet me at the Ramen place Naruto always goes to at 2:00am tonight._

* * *

"YES!" Sakura cried, reading the last sentence.

She had been thoroughly confused by Sasuke once again. The way he described Orochimaru, the evil, the bad, the one who had caused her so much pain, made him seem like a happy weirdo instead. That sure mad her feel lame.

And this Mr. Swigglefluff. She was desperate to know what it was. A cute button nose?

"AAAAUGH!" She screamed, pulling at her hair. Then, calming down, she tried to imagine Sasuke dancing. In the rain. Her poor, cracked mind could not even comprehend the magnitude of it, and she fainted.

When she awoke, she stuffed away the letter and prepared what she would say when she met Sasuke. He had a punch coming his way.


End file.
